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已笑尿!美国死小孩的奇葩段子(中英对照)

  每年高考都涌向一批让人哭笑不得的奇葩零分作文。你以为美国学生就不会么?下面是从美国学生的作文里面摘抄出来的句子:

  > Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its 2 other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

  > Sue Lin Chong, Washington

  她的脸是标准的椭圆形,就像一个圆的两侧被瘦腿机轻轻压扁了一样。- Sue Lin Chong(华盛顿)

  > Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

  > Russell Beland, Springfield

  她的眼镜就像两个棕色的圆圈,中间带了一个大黑点。- Russell Beland(斯普林菲尔德)

  > He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

  > Joseph Romm, Washington

  他说的话带有过来人的睿智,恰似一个人因为没用带针孔的盒子看日食,结果眼瞎了,然后此人走遍全国,到各所高校宣传没用带针孔的盒子看日食会带来怎样的后果一样。- Joseph Romm(华盛顿)

  > Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

  > Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

  鲍勃一脸困惑,就像一个本来打算进入到T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung却误进入到T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung的黑客一样。-Ken Krattenmaker(蓝道佛山市)

  > His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

  > Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

  思绪在他头脑中翻滚,不断合并又分开,像洗衣机里没加防粘剂的内衣。- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

  > Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

  > Unknown

  她的词汇很差,差得就像,像那啥似的。-佚名

  > Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

  > Chuck Smith,Woodbridge

  她的头发在雨中闪烁,就像打喷嚏之后的鼻毛。- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

  > He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

  > Jack Bross, Chevy Chase

  他很高,恰似一棵六英尺三英寸(约1.9m)的树。- Jack Bross(塞维蔡斯)

  > The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

  > Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring

  冰雹从人行道上溅起来,好像被扔进油锅炸的蛆。- Gary F. Hevel(银泉)

  > Long separated by cruel fate, star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

  > Jennifer Hart, Arlington

  这对苦命鸳鸯曾被残酷的命运分隔,现在他们从草地两端跑向对方,就像两列货运火车,一辆以每小时55英尺的速度于下午6点36分离开克理夫兰,另一辆以每小时35英尺的速度于下午4点19分离开托皮卡车站。- Jennifer Hart(阿林顿)

  > A politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

  > Wayne Goode, Madison,AL

  政治家走了,但没人注意他,就像Dr Pepper罐头上Dr.的句点一样没有存在感。- Wayne Goode(阿拉巴马)

  > They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan,s teeth.

  > Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY

  他们住在典型的郊区社区,那儿的尖桩篱栅像南茜·克里根的牙齿。- Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY(纽约州锡拉丘兹市)

  > John & Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

  > Russell Beland, Springfield

  约翰和玛丽从来没见过面。他们就像两只从来也没见过面的蜂鸟一样。- Russell Beland(斯普林菲尔德)

  > The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

  > Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria

  雷声中带着不祥,那声音好像给戏剧中的雷雨场面配音时,几个人在后台摇晃一片薄金属板一样。- Barbara Fetherolf(亚历山大)

  > The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

  > Unknown

  红砖墙的颜色就像砖红色的蜡笔一般。-佚名

  > Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

  > Sandra Hull, Arlington

  就算到了晚年,祖父的思维仍然像捕兽夹一样(注:“像捕兽夹一般敏锐的思维”是常用比喻),只不过那个捕兽夹被放在外面太久了,已经锈死了。- Sandra Hull(阿林顿)

  > Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

  > Jerry Pannullo, Kensington

  子弹打完了,就像打完了的子弹一样。- Jerry Pannullo(肯辛顿)

  > The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

  > Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

  计划很简单,就像我的姐夫菲尔一样简单。但和菲尔不同的是,这计划或许行得通。- Malcolm Fleschner(阿林顿)

  > The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

  > Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington

  年轻的战士脸上带着渴望的神情,就是那种你几天不吃东西露出的表情。- Malcolm Fleschner(阿林顿)

  > He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

  > John Kammer, Herndon

  他就像鸭子一样笨。并不是比喻句中的笨鸭子,而是一只脑子有问题的真鸭子——也许因为踩了地雷而脑残了。- John Kammer(赫尔顿)

  > Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can,t Believe It,s Not Butter.

  > Barbara Collier, Garrett Park

  她的艺术感知力极其敏锐,犹如一个能分辨出黄油和“我不相信它不是黄油”牌人造黄油的人。- Barbara Collier(加列特公园)

  > Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

  > Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

  她的眼睛像清澈的水池,只是他们忘记往里面放清洁剂了。- Chuck Smith(伍德布里奇)

  > It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

  > Brian Broadus, Charlottesville

  疼的就像你不小心把舌头钉在墙上那样疼。- Brian Broadus(夏洛茨维尔市)

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