SIR, I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER

　　Every father who has a teenager daughter is thinking it. That boy wants one thing and one thing only. But is this really true? Do young teenage boys only want to date so that they can ultimately engage in sex? Or are they seeking something more?

　　New research in Elsevier’s Journal of Adolescence explores the motivations of 105 10th-grade boys in the US for dating and intercourse, trying to discover if the stereotypical portrayal of the young man out for sex is in fact true. Of the boys in the study, 92 had started dating and 90 reported having at least one girlfriend (or boyfriend). On average, the boys started dating at 12.2 years of age and reported 3.7 lifetime dating partners. Forty-three of the 105 boys reported having had intercourse, and the average age of that first experience was 14.4.

　　All participants were asked to indicate why they entered their most recent relationship and the reason they had sex. A list of 11 potential reasons to date and 10 potential reasons to engage in sex was provided for the boys to choose from, and participants could select multiple reasons. The participants were assessed for their dating/sexual experience.

　　Based on the results, the boys in this study largely engaged in both dating and sexual behaviours for a variety of reasons that were distinct from wanting sex. In regards to dating, the most commonly endorsed reason was in fact ‘getting to know one’s partner? When it came to sex, many boys said they engaged in sex for relational reasons - that are similar to the reasons offered by adults i.e. because they liked/loved the person, their partner wanted to, or they felt desire.

　　So what does this mean? Well, when the young man rings the doorbell to pick up your daughter, he likely is genuinely interested in her and wanting to get to know her better. Sex may of course be on the brain, but it is not the number one motivating factor for boys when it comes to dating.

　　先生，我真的很想结识您的漂亮女儿

　　膝下有十多岁女孩的父亲们都一直这样认为：男孩们想要的就是一件事，而且仅仅就这一件事！果真如此么？十几岁的男孩就只想约会进而得到性满足吗？他们是否也期望得到其它东西呢？

　　爱思唯尔出版集团旗下的《青春期杂志》（Journal of Adolescence）最近刊载一篇文章，研究了105名十年级的美国男孩约会女孩的动机，试图对年轻男孩约会目的主要是性的传统说法进行了考证。在被调查对象中，92名男孩已经有过约会经历，其中的90名男孩至少拥有一个女友或男友。被调查者的约会开始年龄平均为12．2岁，每人平均具有3．7个长期约会对象。105名男孩中的43名已经具有性经历，第一次发生性行为的平均年龄是14．4岁。

　　调查要求所有参与者回答他们最近一次约会和发生性行为的原因。约会原因的候选条目共有11项，性行为原因的候选条目有10项，被调查者可进行多重选择。研究者根据这些选择结果，对被调查者的约会和性经历进行评估。

　　结果表明，被调查男孩进行约会和发生性行为的原因呈现出多样化，但这些原因均与性目的无关。关于约会的原因，最被认可的理由是为了“了解自己的伴侣”。当提到性时，许多男孩说他们做爱是由于相关原因引起的――这与成年人的说法类似，比如说因为他们喜欢或爱某人，他们的伴侣希望如此，或他们自己觉得渴望这样做。

　　这样以来意味着什么呢？嗯，当男孩按响门铃来找您的女儿时，他可能是真的对她感兴趣，想进一步了解她。当然，性企图可能已经存在于大脑中，但这并非是男孩开始约会时就有的第一动机。

　　感谢荷兰爱思唯尔出版集团惠赠赐稿